Being Here.

This whole week I have not been feeling like myself. I’ve been frustrated and fed up with both body and mind.

It’s taken a lot to get here.  I’m not rich and I’m not sponsored. My support system has come from my family, friends, coworkers, and my own working hands. But they did it, we did it. I’m here. The final stretch to fulfilling a huge goal.

I started thinking about that today and it dawned on me that I’ve already won. All the miles have been logged. The sweat has been poured, the recovery embraced… it’s easy from here on out. Line up and go. Nothing can be as hard as what it took to get here.

My sister once shared a quote with me from Mary Oliver Banyan. It’s written in her loose yet tidy handwriting, in red ink, on the back of a postcard. I bring it with me or read before every race…

“Listen said the voice
This is your dream,
I’m only stopping here for a little while
Don’t be afraid”

I could cry reading it. It’s just one of those things that touched a very personal part of me.
It always reminds me to simply embrace the gift of fulfilling a goal – of living your dreams.

Dreaming is great – it’s critical to creating goals. But it is equally important to keep dreams from becoming delusions.
I’m not a short course gal and I don’t expect any miracles. I know what I’ve been running, biking, and swimming. What I expect is to pull off a race in which I utilize every ounce of energy I have and make every. single. second. count. That is surprisingly difficult and requires a huge amount of focus, at least I find it does. But that’s my goal, I want every single second to be present and deliberate, to make the most of what I have……actually a quote my coach just sent me sums it up quite well…

“We are not all born equal, but perhaps it is more about doing the most with what you were born with than letting what you weren’t born with limit your performance.”
–Dr. Joel Stager, director of the Human Performance Lab at Indiana University

I’m not Katie Hursey, I’m not Lauren Goss, I’m not any of the dedicated speedy athletes racing next Sunday. I’m just me :-).

Cheers,
Rae

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